I’ve probably talked about this on here before, but it’s on my mind now so I’ll ramble on some more. I am equal parts analytical and creative, equally ambitious and driven with the other half of me seeking balance in all endeavors. As a result, I am constantly reevaluating and shifting and pivoting. I, like so many other creative entrepreneurs I see, have a lot of type A tendencies, wanting to control my environment and stick with what works. It has taken me a long time to realize that I actually thrive with structure and routine, that with that, it allows the other hyper creative parts of me to excel. But, because half of me is lead by a wildly creative and intuitive nature it can take those habits a long time to set in. And when they are, finally, firmly set, I want them to stay that way forever. I don’t want to rock the boat. As a result, change, any change is hard for me. Any shift in routine can throw me rampantly out of whack and cause me weeks of having to reorient myself back to those winning habits that took me so long to secure.
I notice this because my husband is the opposite, he is very structured, habits are not hard to set and if a wave comes, those habits are so deeply engrained in his DNA that he is quickly back at them. I have to literally write my goals out in front of me, because if I don’t, I will forget about them. Months later, I will realize I’ve derailed when deep down I still have those same goals and they are still calling me but now they’ve gotten pushed aside by something else distracting, by another idea I had to implement, another thought I had to write down, another thing I had to pursue.
A few months ago I found a list of goals that I had written when I was seventeen, which was eighteen years ago. What was weirdly comforting about finding this list was that the goals were almost identical to those that I have now and were deeply holistic in nature. It showed me that we are who we are and probably always will be, regardless of any other life circumstances or change in life.
I say this, because despite my tendencies to not want to rock the boat for fear of getting knocked off path, for fear of losing track of my hard-won habits, I think embracing and sometimes seeking change is important. I’ve been taught, through repeated experience, that life isn’t static, that everything is temporal, and that you can really only control so much. You’re going to get old, you’re going to die, there will be hard times, there will be beautiful times, our youth fades, we can all build sand castles, but they are all going to get washed away eventually, this is life. These thoughts are actually not depressing to me, they are empowering.
What’s more beautiful than making the most of every moment by acknowledging the good and shifting towards the better? When you don’t shift course you can actually stay in a rocking boat longer, you’re just getting repeatedly rocked by the same waves. By staying the course you can sometimes lose sight of your choice in the matter, versus realizing you may have the opportunity to sail to smoother seas and the chance to see a different and possibly more fulfilling horizon. I think that taking a big risk and forcing yourself to rock the boat that you are in can be hugely rewarding; an act of bravery (because it is always terrifying!) that can lead to unprecedented personal growth.
I challenge you to look around you, what can you change? What path have you been wanting to pursue? What isn’t working? What is? Take a risk, make a change, and I’m willing to bet that it will pay off in ways you never imagined.