I am naturally reflective, perhaps to a fault. If there is a big decision to be made I need to think about it quite a bit and come to the most honest conclusion before feeling comfortable in moving forward. I have a tendency to linger on the intricacies of the day and each encounter for far longer that is probably neccessary – just ask my husband who tolerates my nightly sleep loopy dissections of how and why and what does it all mean?
Sometimes, this tendency means it appears that I’ve made a big decision quite quickly because I move forward in bold confidence. In reality, I’ve marinated on the idea – whether it is to move a piece of furniture or take a big business leap for much longer than I’ve expressed outwardly. By the time I’m putting that action out there I’ve already solidified (in my mind) that this choice is the best one for the scenario. The other side to this though is that is sometimes leaves me in a sort of limbo where I am thinking about a possibility or solution, or I’m not satisfied with the current state of things, and the answer has yet to come so the problem just sits there along with all the other “open projects” in my head while I wait for that “a-ha” moment to strike.
And, when there are a lot of physical outward day to day tasks, like now, I can get caught up in them – not allowing myself to reflect on them. This is especially true in times of change. Without reflecting on them and where I stand and where I want to stand I can feel untethered and unhinged. I have to remind myself that though there are a lot of tasks to be accomplished and new routines to navigate and manage, that I need to take time to stop, to sit, to reflect in order to be the most effective and content. Because no matter how much I get done, I won’t feel whole until I identify and work towards my needs, desires and place in a shifting landscape.